I had lots of invitations I said no to and a dozen almost-dates—guys who kept writing but never asked me out for whatever reason.
When I joined a second site a year or so later, I was feeling a little disenchanted by the online experience and registered as La Curmudgeon. I like Martha’s: “I’ve been curious about online dating for a long time, but, like lots of people, have been reluctant to take the leap.” It shows vulnerability. “[I’m looking for] someone who’s intelligent, established, and curious; and who relishes adventure and new experiences as much as I do.” There are millions of smart men who will claim to be all those things, but that won’t help if you’re looking for The One. A few I received: “I am socially awkward, overweight and a bit of a contrarian . Is that something you do or would be willing to do from time to time if we hit it off? Well, not armpit guy, but definitely some of the others. When I arrived at the beer garden where we’d agreed to meet, not only did he look like his photo, but he kissed me on the cheek. Online dating is a full-time job, and eventually, it stopped making sense to me to turn down dinner and party invitations from friends because I had to go home and troll for dudes online.
(I was hoping the “la” made me sound continental.) Coworkers said no one would look at my profile. My final go-round I decided to kick the gimmicks and identify myself as girl_5. We saddled up to the bar and he excused himself to make a phone call. So I let a few e-mails and winks go unanswered and started enjoying life in the real world.
What were my non-negotiables and what truly mattered in a mate?
For me, relationships always began with mutual attraction.
What if you started with shared values and interests and then explored the chemistry aspect?
The six months I spent online were fascinating, fun, and frustrating.
Online dating, in my experience, is a lot of work for little reward. There’s intense pressure to come up with something individual that will also maintain a little privacy.
Yes, I’ve heard everyone’s success stories of meeting their Prince Charmings, but over the seven years I spent dipping in and out of the pools of Match, OKCupid, and Nerve, all I found were frogs (not to mention a few hairy toads). When I first signed up with Match in 2005, I registered as What About Boobs.
It is exciting and fun to meet new people by way of the Internet and it can be challenging as well.