Looking back at that relationship now, seven years later, there are so many things I wish someone had told me before I decided to become the Lolita to this guy’s Humbert².
If you’ve made it through the first date, the next one will be all the more comfortable. She created the company to bring singles together to find love.
She enjoys contributing to the blog to let others know that they too can find lasting love as she did: In 2006 she met her loving husband and in 2008, together they were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.
I don’t care if you’re the most self-confident, well-adjusted person around; rejection hurts. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.
It makes the remaining friendship awkward at best, humiliating at worst. People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They keep making up excuses to hang out, hedging all their bets and waiting for God to give them a sign.
That’s because asking someone out involves potential pain. Worst of all, you engage in the most banal and abysmal of non-dates—going to coffee.
If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that’s going to hurt. Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy milquetoast alternative to dating: “hanging out.” Here’s how it works: You like someone but you’re afraid to let him or her know. It has the trappings of a date—a cozy ambiance, comforting beverages, atmospheric music—while allowing everyone involved to disavow the actual occurrence of a date.
It’s not terrorism, economic recession, global warming, or gasoline prices that could hit 10 bucks per gallon by the time you’re done reading this.
These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: asking someone out on a date.
Choosing a fun activity like a sport, museum, art show or city attraction can help focus the date and create something for the two of you to talk about and enjoy together. Nobody is attracted to people who just talk about themselves, and your goal is to get to know the OTHER person, as well as sharing things about yourself.
Also remember the date does not have to happen at night, but could happen in the afternoon on a weekend. You don’t need to choose something really expensive either. Plan to meet at the location where you will have your date (if possible), just in case things don’t go as well as expected. It’s also a good idea to get to know someone first before inviting them to your house. This situation is a true example of give and take and it’s your real first impression.
If they don’t seem to like any of your ideas and don’t offer any of their own, ask them to suggest something they might like to do. It’s important to keep your first date simple but fun, and remember that the point of going on a first date is to get to know each other.