Now, feel free to navigate to the upper left-hand corner of this page, click on the "print" button, and lay this article before the mascara-streaked face of the nearest Bridezilla.When I give talks on how to make wise decisions about love relationships, the burning question that someone almost always asks is, “How long do I have to wait? Another reader – who was attempting to shoot down my assertion that you should ideally wait 2-3 years before getting engaged – sent me a link to a super-informative article.
They were labeled “delayed-action” divorcers because they stayed married for at least seven years, long after the passion that led them to marry had dissipated.
•Women who sense future problems while they are courting generally find out after they are married that their concern was well-founded.
•Men with traits stereotyped as “feminine” make better husbands.
•The extent of differences in tastes and ideas among couples does not predict divorce.
•Whether a marriage will be happy or whether it is headed for the divorce court can be foretold from the courtship.
•Couples who are passionately enamored as newlyweds are likely to divorce.
Perhaps ill-matched couples use giant diamonds or flashy weddings to cover up the cracks in their emotional foundations.
Or maybe couples that have modest rings and receptions feel that their boundless love is a celebration enough.
A strong marriage, in other words, is an intentional one.
But the other findings, like the fact that expensive rings and ceremonies don't yield happier unions, are more surprising.
•All marriages, even those that are happy in the long run, show declines over the first two years in marriage in the following categories: sex, overt displays of affection, and leisure activities spent together. But everything you read there, you could also have read here. My biggest takeaway is that if the courtship is smooth, the marriage will be as well.